The irreducibly complex evolution of the argument from ignorance

I do not know that, therefore this.

I do not know that and no one knows that, therefore this.

No one knows that, therefore this.

No one knows that, therefore it cannot be. I'm not saying it means this, but it makes you think, doesn't it?

No one knows that, therefore it cannot be, we've known that for a long time now.

I know a lot of people say they know it, but there are more people who can't see how it could be, so it cannot be.

I know a few people still say they know it, but really, there's no way to know that, we've known that for a long time.

There's no way to know that reliably.

There's no way to know that.

There's really no way to know anything reliably.

There's no way to know anything, naturally.

There's no way to know anything naturally, therefore this.

This is the only thing you can know reliably. Everybody knows that.

You don't believe this so you can't be trusted. You're on the slippery slope to the primrose path to the purifying fires of the all-knowing.

You can't be trusted, and people who can't be trusted are obviously dangerous. Everybody knows that.

You and the people who associate with you are dangerous, someone should do something.

I know you say you didn't do anything, but reliable sources have complained about you, so we have to check it out. We're just doing our job under the provisions of the Patriot Beliefs Act. Every true patriot knows that.

Your honor, not only did we find these books, but the perpetrator cannot explain how the tale circulating about his bugging of the fifty-party Chinese Whispers contest homed in on his guilt with each retelling. Furthermore, his attempts to convince us that his inability to reconstruct how the tale actually started to take shape without the record of the bug might be remedied if only he were able to investigate the Chinese Whisperers themselves is not only highly irregular, but also unnatural, his woeful tale of it being premature without the proper tools and sufficient preparation notwithstanding. Everyone knows they whisper because what they have to say cannot be known, and that the whole of their whispers is more than the sum of the whispers of the parties.

Well, sir, you say in your defense that you didn't do anything and that given time and resources you can show it beyond a reasonable doubt, but the sooner we end this charade, the better it will be for everyone. The public morale must be upheld. You do admit to owning these books we've learned have a corrupting influence on children, so even though you didn't know they had been banned, I have no choice but to sentence you accordingly. Ignorance of the law is no excuse.

I know you say you were just defending yourself, but it's your word against theirs. They've been model inmates. The one you claim killed his friend accidentally has been an asset to prison ministries for several years. I can't see how he could have broken your legs. Frankly, with your whispered history of willful unbeliefism I'm inclined to side with their account. I'm afraid I have no choice but to sentence you to death, such execution to be carried out in the maximum security wing of the One True Exodus 2006 Memorial Penitentiary at sunrise on the day marking the start of the third year and the sixth month since the nuclear desolation of Jerusalem which was foretold in the revelations of the Bible Code and carried out by our Righteous Army. This court urges you to spend your final days in repentance and worship that you may know even as you are known.

We should do something about his friends and family. One bad apple and all that. You have to prune a tree to save it. Everybody knows that. It's simple, really. I don't get why people have to make it so hard. Life is a tale told by an idiot.

Ain't that the truth. Hey, what's the chapter and verse on that?

I don't remember. Probably Proverbs. Nothing like the old wisdom.

Ain't that the truth. Hey, can you get me in the room when they fry that guy?

I would, but I don't do anything that can get me noticed any more. Things are dicey these days, a lot of the bigs gettin' the axe, if you know what I mean. Sorry. Stick your neck out, it gets chopped off. It's better not to rock the boat.

Ain't that the truth.